Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
