he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
