my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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