id be glad to
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
