He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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