you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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