butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We need a shit load of segways right now
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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