Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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