I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
