that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
