well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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