just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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