I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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