I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Omg I joined a choir last night...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
