I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
