I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
