i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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