yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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