Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize