Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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