i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
