you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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