i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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