I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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