But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
