great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize