and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
