What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
