I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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