Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
