its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
