Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
jump out the window naked night went bad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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