using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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