And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
