well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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