I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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