she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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