Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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