My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
