i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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