At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize