I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
