I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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