So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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