thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
