i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
