her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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