I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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