You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
