I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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