where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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