So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
