Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
