Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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