a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
