Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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