haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
