I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize