this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
