Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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