Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That's when you crack a 10am beer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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