this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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