On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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