I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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