When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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