i don't like sucking hair
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
